I think it would be safe to say that absolutely no part of the month of January went as planned. I was determined to be " organized " this year...to be " on top of things " and to stop " freaking out because I put everything off until the very last possible second and then took an ice cream break anyway ." I spent a whole afternoon making lists and color coding my January calendar so that I could efficiently balance cookies and family and still have time to make myself  a better person by reading instructive and insightful novels and spending quality time with my running shoes.

Last night I dreamed that I was in the middle of a zombie apocalypse while watching a private Cirque Du Soleil performance in an opera house. I'm not really sure if it's a commentary on all the late nights (early mornings) I've been putting in lately or a result of the panic I feel at trying to comprehend how all the tiny little plastic pieces are supposed to fit together to create my son's Cub Scout Space Derby rocket.

It snows a lot here. I like when it snows at night while I'm sleeping. Because then when I wake up in the morning it's like, " Ohhh you sneaky snow -- Look at you! " And then I complain a little about shoveling even though my husband does almost all of the shoveling. And then what's done is done.

I got some garden supplies in the mail today. (I KNOW. You do not have to remind me. I get that it's still January. But the only way my mind can make it through this dark hole of sadness and icy despair is to pretend that the sun still exists and will eventually come back.)

I'm basically a time traveling genius because I'm pretty sure I caught the Winter Plague this year. I'm normally the only person in the house that doesn't get sick. I'm a super hero of immunity. But I just can't kick it this time. It's sucking me down to the depths of sadness and umm...everything else that comes with feeling like badness inside. But early this morning as I was lying on the couch wondering just how much worse I would need to get before I could legitimately be admitted to the hospital...I discovered something.

I know what you are thinking -- and let me assure you that the world as you know it is NOT, in fact, ending. I know it seem like it with me posting on a Monday and all. I mean...I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning...much less form coherent thoughts using actual letters and punctuation. But this can't wait even one more day. I have another fantastic cookie cutter announcement!

    I'm not sure if you know...but I'm super good at imagining things. Like if there were ninjas of imagination...I would be the Ra's al Ghul. Except maybe not the super-villain part. There is not a situation in the world that I couldn't imagine my way into or out of. Seriously...crazy sounds in the night are amateur hour compared to my imagination. But for all that, I would have never NEVER imagined that a day like this would come.

What I want to know -- is how did eating popcorn while watching a movie become a "thing"? Don't get me wrong. The eating part I get. I mean, I love eating food. And I know it's totally taboo to admit, but sometimes eating is like the anti-toxin to all the loud children "bonding" that goes on at my house during the dark hours of winter. I'll save my dinner until after my kids go to bed and

I tried to call in "sick" today. After 4 hours of sleep and shoveling nearly a foot of snow yesterday...I figured I had earned a few hours on the couch with my electric blanket. Although, if we're being completely honest that electric blanket is just the gateway drug that leads to an afternoon of Amazon shopping. But as it turns out,

  Stop me if you've heard this story before.  A girl has a cookie order that is due in 1 week. Girl procrastinates cookie order until the very last second. And then procrastinates just a little more while convincing herself that she can just "work a little faster" or "stay up just a little later" and totally make up the time. And then completely freaks out and loses her mind when she realizes