I've learned a lot about myself since I started decorating cookies. For one thing, I am SUPER impatient. I mean...all this time, I just thought I was regular impatient. And then I met royal icing. And it told me all about it's "required dry time" and I was like, "I don't understand the words you are saying!" And royal icing was all, "DRY-ING TAH-IME." I just kind of stared at it and it just kind of stared at me. To be perfectly honest, it was an awkward way to begin a relationship. Then I bought my royal icing a dehydrator and never looked back. Also...I'm a smidgeon obsessive-compulsive. Not in a good way where I clean everything up and keep it all neat and stacked and color-coded in alphabetical order.  But I have a certain way of doing things that might possibly be magic. Or good luck. Or the opposite of badness and despair. So even though I have no way of proving this magic-ness, I simply cannot deviate from my system. And that...

You know when you go to the grocery store and you see your neighbor and you're all like, "Oh my gosh! How ARE YOU?! I swear we never see each other anymore except for neighborhood garbage day when we were all getting rid of our junk together. Man, we really bonded over trying to get that enormous television from the 70's- that could also have been mistaken for the wardrobe to Narnia - high enough into the air to actually get it into the dumpster! My gosh! Did you even realize that Old Man Brewster knew words like that?! Hilarious!! Also, how awesome is it that we live in the last neighborhood in America that has a neighbor-man we call 'Old Man Brewster'? I love this world! Ha ha ha ha... Ahh. It's great to see you! I've got to get going...." And then three seconds later you turn the corner into the next aisle...and there they are again...half way down. And you have to make a decision -- pretend you don't see them and that you also suddenly fo...

Let's just cut to the chase here. I'm obsessed with these paper clip cookies. It's a little unhealthy. But not like eating-a-pound-of-butter-straight-from-the-fridge unhealthy. More like eating-half-a-pound-of-butter-at-room-temperature unhealthy. You know, because that's SO much better. These cookies are by far my favorite back-to-school cookies. Mostly because they FINALLY made use of a "cutter" I've been waiting to use for YEARS. Not "years" with lowercase letters. We are talking "YEARS" with all uppercase letters. That's way more than just "years." And they are the perfect fit for it. And easy. And brightly colored. And who doesn't love brightly colored?! Sad people. That's who. And also people who can control their impulses. Unlike me. That's why I don't have a Costco membership. Because my cart would be piled high with brightly colored items that I *need* based merely on the fact that they a...

As much as I'd like summer to last forever, I'm seeing all the signs that it is crawling to an end. You know the signs -- There is a point in the day where I can actually exist outside without envying life on other planets... The grass starts to come back to life after it's near death experience with the endless summer sun.... The pile of towels and swimsuits has grown into a mountain that can no longer be side-stepped, and in fact, may actually be coming alive. It's hard to say with any certainty since I avoid looking at it in the hopes that it will go away on its own... My children start arguing with each other before they even leave their bedrooms in the morning... And I've gotten my traditional THIRD email letting me know that I still haven't registered my children for school. You know, because registration was a day ago. And I still haven't done it. And do you want to know WHY I haven't done it? It's because I'm protesting the ...

I am the last person on earth that would claim perfection in parenting. I mean, just TODAY-- I lied to my children and told them the juice was all gone...when in fact it wasn't. I pretended I couldn't hear my children calling for me while I was in the bathroom. My little P was quiet for 20 whole minutes before I went to check on her. I let my Princess A wear her purple dress-up gown to school drop off so I could go yet one more day without doing laundry. I made scrambled eggs, quesadillas, and cut up apples for dinner. I bribed my children to clean up the living room...with cookies. But for all my shortcomings, there are two things I have done right as a mother. The first one -- I taught them to hold juice pouches at the top two corners. Even my little P knows how to hold them without squishing juice all over the front of her shirt. I'm not going to lie, I'm super proud of that. And the second thing -- bedtime is book time at our house. We have a ...

I need some advice from all you parents who have had more than one child. I just CAN NOT figure out how you get all of your kids in the car at the same time without one of them lying boneless on the ground sobbing endlessly because someone else "sat in their seat." I tried assigning seats like the Type A mother that I am. It worked well until I missed the rotation day and everyone hated me. And by "everyone" I mean my oldest child who never ever ever forgets a single thing that I promise him. I'm worried this will really come back to bite me when he turns 12 and wakes up to find that he does NOT, in fact own a pony. I tried a "first one there gets the back seat" rule...but nobody wants the backseat. So I suddenly found myself with 4 children that were entirely incapable of finding our car and climbing inside. My little Princess A actually hid under her bed so she could be the last person in the car. Then I tried the opposite approach -- the ...

Use this cookie decorating tutorial to learn how to make bright and fun Back To School decorated sugar cookies for your favorite student or teacher! Sometimes I think about my life before I moved to America. My kids were each born in a different state or country. They are actually convinced that if we move again that they will get a little brother. My 3 year old says, "You get in an airplane and then you get a baby." I'm letting her believe that for now. I used to dream about moving back to America and how easy it would be to find the exact cutter I always dreamed of. And turning lanes. And buying milk at 3 in the morning. And owning a house instead of renting. But as it turns out... I still order most of my cutters from the internet. Turning lanes actually are the most fantastic thing that ever happened to my driving life. I've never once, in the entire 2 years I've been back gone to purchase milk at 3 in the morning. And owning a house? Not quite as f...

I wouldn't be showing you yet another back-to-school cookie post if it weren't for a good cause. Trust me. My son started on Wednesday and the excitement lasted until about 9:15 when I realized that *I* still have to live the same life I was living the day before. No new shoes for me. No fun packed lunch with candies to remind me how fantastic I am. And I certainly did not get to fill out the little booklet of all my favorite things. Instead, I had to go home and decorate cookies. And eat popcorn if I wanted to. And maybe have a dance party ALL DAY LONG... okay, it really wasn't that bad of a day. I just felt kind of guilty because of the whole dance party while he was in school thing. So I just tried to trick you into thinking it was an awful day. But now that I've owned up to it... I just feel kind of... awkward now. My goodness you are distracting! My point, is that all of these school cookies are here for a reason. And that reason is to prevent me from ...

Do you like scary movies? I hate them. And yet... I watch them. At night. When everyone else is asleep. And my husband is gone doing some very productive and not scary thing for someone who does not live next door. They don't even live in this neighborhood. He is completely out of range and not at all being foolish. And there is a very real - although entirely too slim to calculate - chance that I could get eaten. And now there is a noise coming from my refrigerator that I've never heard before. I think it's trying to talk to me. AND I DON'T SPEAK FRIDGE!!! I don't want to be eaten! Especially not by the leftovers I should have thrown away days ago, but now can't bring myself to get rid of because that means actually opening the lid on that bacteria hive of death. I'll probably just have to buy a new fridge now. That is... if I last the night. And I can't make cookies because I need more icing. And if I turn on the mixer, I won't be able to h...

Let's say that hypothetically... someone you know... not me, but someone else you know that you kind of like and don't hate altogether...has an old college teammate coming into town in less than 2 weeks. And everyone is getting together. And this friend of yours, that is not me, hasn't seen any of them in over 10 years. Hypothetically still, how would you advise her on her next course of action? Should she 1) Get an entirely new wardrobe? You know, one that says, "I'm super successful, stylish and fun. I bet you've missed hanging out with me and all my stylish-ness." 2) Run a hundred miles a day for the next 2 weeks? Because, you know, these are her sporty and fit college teammates. They've probably been running a hundred miles a day for the last 10 years. And 2 weeks ought to catch that friend of yours right up. I mean, maybe throw in a push-up or two for good measure. 3) Pay someone to fake articles mentioning that your hypothetical friend...