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Cupid Cookies

I have spent a lifetime telling myself what I can and cannot do without any respect to logic or reality.

Move my entire family across the globe to a country where I can't speak the language, traveling alone with a 3 year old and a 6 week old baby while carrying 2 car seats and our 3 pieces of luggage that we intend to live off for the next 4 months? I can do that.

Join an Adventure Racing team as the only girl without any training or practice and using a mountain bike that only has 3 working gears still come in first place ahead of all the boys-only teams? No big deal.

Make a Harry Potter replica wand at 10pm the night before Christmas out of paint, paper, and hot glue? I'm on it.

Ice a cookie that may or may not resemble a person either real or fictional? No. No, I don't think I can do that. I'll put that on the list of things I will never do. Right under dressing fashionably and making regular play dates for my children.


But this year...2014....things are changing.…

Sparkly Lip Cookies

Out of necessity and over time, I have exactly three rules for any person desiring transportation in my vehicle.

Rule #1 -- Do not eat pizza. Once you open the box inside those closed doors... that smell is going NO WHERE. For days. And years. And your whole life and car will smell like pizza until the end of time or at least two weeks. Whichever comes first.

Rule #2 -- No simultaneous whistling. I actually have a hard time listening to anyone whistling anything ever. And have you ever tried to whistle the exact same pitch as another living person? It's basically impossible unless you are a ninja whistler or on the Olympic whistling team. I worry that my head will implode while I am still directly responsible for your physical safety.

Rule #3 -- Don't kiss or anything in the back seat while I'm driving. This one should be pretty self-explanatory. That's just weird.

And after this week, I might be adding a fourth rule. Absolutely no sanding sugar of any kind allowed unle…

Valentine's Day Kissing Lips Cookies

I've finally become a grown-up for real. I've stopped using bubblegum toothpaste. In fact, I've gone so far as buying, and actually using, baking soda toothpaste. I don't really like being a grown-up. Being a grown-up tastes awful. It makes me want to throw oral hygiene out the nearest metaphorical window. Except, I don't even have a metaphorical window. I only have regular type windows. And it's really cold outside. I'm not opening one of those up. Because, just my luck, it would probably end up snowing on my bed. And then I'd have no choice but to sleep with the purple pony blanket. And that's pretty much the opposite of being a real live adult.

So, instead, I suffer through day after day after night after night of awful tasting toothpaste just to do my part to uphold the name of adulthood. It's all for you guys, really. Because I'm selfless like that. And also, because I'm secretly vain and I'm hoping that it will magically make …