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Decorated Bow Tie Cookies for a Little Man Baby Shower

I cut down some trees this week. Three of them. Unless you want to count all the wild little trees growing all by themselves in my side-jungle....which some people might call a side yard. In that case, you could say that I cut down 67 trees this week. All by myself. With a CHAINSAW. You know what I'm talking about, right? It's got a little rope-pull thing with a handle on the end of it. It smells like you could light yourself on fire just by thinking about a sunny day and it's so loud that I can still hear it in my sleep 5 days later. Either that or my children are crying and I'm subconsciously turning their crying into a sound that I find more peaceful. It really could go either way on that one.

Quick Tip Tuesday - Keep Dough From Sticking and Spreading

Today you get a TWO for ONE. And I'm not talking about shampoo. Not even the super fantastic smelling kind that makes me want to eat my own shower. (PS -- Why do they make soaps smell edible? It's the worst kind of trap. You're showering and smelling all these delicious aromas and all you can think about is how much you want to eat those strawberries and limes and coconuts and honey-oatmeal cookies. And then you weigh yourself before getting dressed and decide that you do NOT want to eat all those delectable dishes after all. It's horribly mean of those shampoo and body wash people if you ask me. Which is why today's tip is NOT about shampoo. It's about cookies. Obviously.


Dip your cutters in flour before cutting out the cookies. The flour on the edge of the dough will keep the cookies from spreading in the oven. And the flour on the inside of the cutter will help the dough release from the cutter. You know... like all those alphabet cutters that drive you craz…

How to make Back To School Icing Colors

I wouldn't be showing you yet another back-to-school cookie post if it weren't for a good cause. Trust me. My son started on Wednesday and the excitement lasted until about 9:15 when I realized that *I* still have to live the same life I was living the day before. No new shoes for me. No fun packed lunch with candies to remind me how fantastic I am. And I certainly did not get to fill out the little booklet of all my favorite things. Instead, I had to go home and decorate cookies. And eat popcorn if I wanted to. And maybe have a dance party ALL DAY LONG... okay, it really wasn't that bad of a day. I just felt kind of guilty because of the whole dance party while he was in school thing. So I just tried to trick you into thinking it was an awful day. But now that I've owned up to it... I just feel kind of... awkward now.


My goodness you are distracting! My point, is that all of these school cookies are here for a reason. And that reason is to prevent me from filling yo…

Decorated Whiteboard Marker Cookies

Do you like scary movies? I hate them. And yet... I watch them. At night. When everyone else is asleep. And my husband is gone doing some very productive and not scary thing for someone who does not live next door. They don't even live in this neighborhood. He is completely out of range and not at all being foolish. And there is a very real - although entirely too slim to calculate - chance that I could get eaten.

And now there is a noise coming from my refrigerator that I've never heard before. I think it's trying to talk to me. AND I DON'T SPEAK FRIDGE!!! I don't want to be eaten! Especially not by the leftovers I should have thrown away days ago, but now can't bring myself to get rid of because that means actually opening the lid on that bacteria hive of death. I'll probably just have to buy a new fridge now. That is... if I last the night.

And I can't make cookies because I need more icing. And if I turn on the mixer, I won't be able to hear th…

Apple Name Cards for Back to School

Let's say that hypothetically... someone you know... not me, but someone else you know that you kind of like and don't hate altogether...has an old college teammate coming into town in less than 2 weeks. And everyone is getting together. And this friend of yours, that is not me, hasn't seen any of them in over 10 years. Hypothetically still, how would you advise her on her next course of action? Should she

1) Get an entirely new wardrobe? You know, one that says, "I'm super successful, stylish and fun. I bet you've missed hanging out with me and all my stylish-ness."

2) Run a hundred miles a day for the next 2 weeks? Because, you know, these are her sporty and fit college teammates. They've probably been running a hundred miles a day for the last 10 years. And 2 weeks ought to catch that friend of yours right up. I mean, maybe throw in a push-up or two for good measure.

3) Pay someone to fake articles mentioning that your hypothetical friend is now a…

Robot and Gear Cookies

I cut my little girl's hair today. I'm a hair cutter like that. I just want to and then I do it. I have no regard for the future or the consequences of my desire to see someone with a new hair cut. I have no governor. I need a governor because sometimes (often) it doesn't quite work out like I imagine it will. And then it just devolves into a series of phone calls and a youtube haircutting marathon that ultimately end in tears and chocolate bars for all involved. Do they make governors for something like that? Maybe I can hire someone to save me from my own lack of foresight and reckless judgement. Is that something you'd have to pay full time for or do you think I could just go with getting someone on retainer? Because some days I actually make really good choices all by myself. At least I think I do. And I would be really sad to find out that cottage cheese and pretzels is *not* a healthy snack. (If it's not... don't tell me. Those are my "good decision…

Decorated Crayon Cookies for Back-To-School

Sometimes I have a problem going to bed. Okay, most nights I have a problem going to bed. I'll stay up for just hours and hours and I don't know why. It drives my husband insane. I don't really understand how it happens. It doesn't make sense. I *like* sleeping. And I'm actually really tired. I mean -- hello! I have an infant. I desperately need more sleep. I haven't truly slept through the night in...well... YEARS. I don't even know what that's like anymore. Do people really do that? Just go to bed at night and wake up to discover that morning came and they missed all those hours that you can count on one hand? Is that an actual possibility for the future? Clearly, being tired is not the reason I stay up late.

I think the real reason I can't go to bed is because I just don't want this day to end. Because another day just like this one is coming. I know it! And I'd way rather take up windsurfing than avoid folding laundry for another day.


O…

Decorated Pencil Cookies

I have been wanting to show you how to make these pencils for just years. (NOT an exaggeration.) And then I don't. And it's not because I don't love you. Because I do. It's because I forget that school is starting. EVERY YEAR. I feel like summer is this huge time-hole-disappearing-thing. I mean, you wait practically forever for the thing to come. And then you go to the beach once, maybe watch a movie or run through the sprinklers 2 or 7 times in your clothes and then it's GONE. Just like that.

And then I realize I'm actually an adult now. And I have kids that go to school and they stopped wearing shoes weeks ago. And at this point it's better to just buy new ones than to wash those things they call shoes. And their pants don't fit. Even though they are their FAVORITE PANTS. And they have to have very specific school supplies, which I *love* to buy.... but they have to come from a list that I don't even know how to begin to find... so I just go shop…