How do I ... make grosgrain ribbon?

I'm learning a lot about myself just by making cookies. Some people quit college and hitch hike across America or join the Peace Corps to "find themselves." I make cookies. (It's not that I don't like adventure. I just don't go white water rafting to discover who I really am. I do it because I LIKE it.)

Anyway...cookies...learning about myself. I have discovered that I am a texture loving person. I like love grosgrain ribbon. Grosgrain has the best ribbon texture ever. (For the record, smooth is also a texture and sometimes I like that too.) What I don't like about grosgrain ribbon is the name. GROSSgrain ribbon? Eewww. Unless of course it's french, and then I totally know what it means. And if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.

You should get some grosgrain ribbon for your own cookies, or cakes, or cupcakes, or you know, you could just make some to look at and admire and take with you when you go shopping and your friends are all "busy." It's ridiculously easy to make. First, get some fondant. Lightly grease your counter and roll the fondant out in a long line. I usually make a "snake" first and flatten it with my rolling pin. Then, using a ruler and a knife or pizza cutter thing, cut out a thin strip.

This is where it gets really technical. Stay with me friends. I'll explain it as well as I can. You take a knife and press it into the fondant over and over again in parallel lines. Done. Easy peasy.

But what if you don't HAVE fondant you are saying? What if you only use royal icing or glaze? What if you are a better person than me and never got hooked on fondant in the first place? (Its okay, I can admit it. I'm addicted to using fondant.)  Well, I'm not what you would call  "an expert" or even "good" with either of those...buuuuttt.... Here is what I would do--

Make your icing real thick. Thick like a paste. It shouldn't flow together at all. You want to be able to pipe these tiny lines right next to each other without them turning all smooth like your icing usually does. Defy it.  (Yes, I know my cookie is all full of cracks. Don't judge me... You know what? Actually, go ahead and judge. I'll give you this one.)

And here is a picture of the 3 dimensional bow I made with glaze. Oops. Forgot to take off the lens cap. Ha ha ha. Just kidding. I kid. I can't figure out how to make a 3 dimensional anything with royal icing or glaze. That's what I have fondant for. You know, my best friend fondant. Always there for me.

In the words of some Hot dog Guy talking to a Popcorn Guy at the beginning of a movie where they tell you to turn off your cellphones..."Variety is the spice of life."  Get yourself some fondant and don't look back.

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