these United States

In case you are not from the United States and are wondering about this whole "Independence Day" thing...let me explain it real quick. Way back around a jillion years ago in 1776 some people were living in North America from Britain. And Britain was being all mean to them, making them mow their lawns and not even giving them popsicles when it was hot outside. And the people in North America were living in wood houses and the people in Britain had big old palaces and swimming pools and stuff, so they could certainly have spared a popsicle or two. Anyway...the "Colonials" (just a big word meaning poor people that live in wood houses and don't get to make their own rules) decided they didn't want to play that game anymore. So they told everyone in Britain that they quit. And the people in Britain said "Oh, no you don't." And the Colonials said, "Oh, yes we do." And then there were fireworks and hot dogs and a watermelon seed spitting contest. 

Happy Birthday USA!

PS: If you have ever lived in, or visited, or thought about the United States or even know where it is on a map -- you should probably just take this day to eat watermelon and chips and popsicles and maybe go swimming if you can fit it in.

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