I was going to say something funny and educational and totally informative in a way that would stick with you for the rest of your life. And you would love me forever. And totally print out pictures of my cookies and my big ol' huge head and tape them over the gorgeous Caribbean Island photos in your calendar, just so you could remember how much you like me on a daily basis.
But I didn't because I got tired. Like, actually tired. Okay, look -- I haven't really slept in kind of a long time. All 3 of my children have apparently been talking to each other and have decided that they will get up at random, yet completely spaced out intervals through out the night. I think they are trying to get more movie time, but they haven't really given me a list of their demands yet, so there's nothing I can do about it.
So I was thinking that maybe today can be kind of like casual Friday except that its not Friday, and there are no jeans involved. At all. Because really, jeans aren't THAT comfortable. Anyway...not my "A" game today. (PS -- What does that even MEAN?) I'm just going to tell you a joke and go home.
A lady gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "Wow. That is THE UGLIEST baby I have EVER seen." The lady is MAD. Super mad. Like so mad, she's thinking about riding his bus all day long and then following him when he goes home just so she can toilet paper his house and leave old pumpkins on his doorstep. But she doesn't. She goes to the back of the bus and sits down. She turns to the guy next to her and says, "The bus driver totally just insulted me!!" The guy says, "What a jerk. You should go right back up there and tell him off. Go ahead. I'll hold your monkey."
You might want to make some eyeballs ahead of time for these cookies. You don't have to, but why not have a little eyeball making fun? Click HERE to see how I make them.
For the cutest possible shamrocks...use THIS CUTTER from Whisked Away. It's got a curvy little stem because I can't handle straight-stemmed shamrocks. It's
nothing personal. I just don't like them. But it's okay if YOU like them. I like you.
Here's the deal. I use ONE consistency of royal icing and a #3
tip to outline and fill. Its about a 12-15 count thickness of icing. But
don't change on my account. Do what you like. I outline first...
...and then immediately go back and fill in the rest of the cookie.
You know, with green icing. Let that dry for a jillion years or a couple
of hours. Whichever comes first. If you wanted to be time efficient,
you could just drop your eyeballs on right here at this step. I don't
because I'm compulsive.
Using your stiff-ish white icing
and your #1 tip, pipe tiny little stitch lines around the edge of the
cookie. Sometimes I get little peeks. I use a toothpick to knock them
off. It they seriously bug you, use a thinner icing. I use a thicker
icing so that the stitches stay thin. But you know...clearly I have
issues...so do what makes you happiest.
This is the point where I place my eyeballs. I'll tell you why I
wait so long. I make a lot of eyeballs in all sorts of sizes. And I
really like having the option to test out different sizes before
committing to one. If you don't make eyeballs ahead of time, you could
also just pipe some right on to the cookie at this point.
And then I use a food color marker to draw the little mouths. I
kind of like the mouths to be slightly off center. They look a little
mischievous. And happy. And although its weird to be assigning
personality traits to an object that is about to be
eaten...I...actually, I have no excuse for being the way I am.
And in case you need to see it in action.
NEED MORE??
Get the SHAMROCK CUTTER HERE.
Don't want to make your own eyeballs? Get some HERE.
Use the same cutter to make RAINBOW SHAMROCKS HERE.
Learn how to pipe perfect shamrocks every time HERE.
