Sour Patch Cookies

I had that totally creepy Marilyn Monroe voice singing "Happy Birthday Mr. President..." stuck in my head. So I decided to watch it on youtube. You know, fighting fire with creepy songs and all. (And seriously -- I know a lot of you are probably Marilyn Monroe fans...but don't even try to tell me it's not creepy.) I think that maybe it made my husband nervous though when he asked me what I was doing and I told him "research."

In other news, today is Kristan's, (Confessions of a Cookbook Queen) birthday. And I just wanted to say in a totally NOT creepy, NOT Marilyn Monroe voice--

Thank you for existing in the world. And for telling people how to text right. You make delicious looking treats that I want to eat right off my screen. And you say funny things that make people laugh because they think it is a joke, but actually they are true and that's what makes them really funny. I like that you aren't afraid to put kool-aid in cupcakes. And I love that you love your child fiercely. Happy Birthday! 

In honor of Kristan's birthday, I made Sour Patch Kids cookies. For real. With actual sour patchy-ness and everything.

I scoured the internet for a sour patch kids cookie cutter. As it turns out, they aren't really what you would consider a hot item. You know what IS though? There is this thing called "Pinterest." Have you heard of it? It's kind of like a water balloon fight except that there aren't any water balloons and they have pictures of umm, stuff instead. Okay, actually now that I think about it, its not really like a water balloon fight at all. But it IS popular. I'm pretty sure. But not sour patch kids cookie cutters. (Don't panic. I've got it all figured out.)

Start with your favorite vanilla cookie recipe. If it comes from the refrigerated section of the grocery store, that's cool. The shape isn't what you would call an "exact science." And it's okay if it spreads a bit. You know what, actually, you should start by eating an entire bag of sour patch kids, just so you can get a feel for the shape. Or at least part of the bag. If you eat all of them, your tongue will get all weird and then you will just want to sit down and drink water and maybe watch some reality TV to make yourself feel better about your own life choices and not want to do anything else like making these fun cookies. It's a talent really, to know the exact moment to stop eating them. If there were some kind of trophy for that, I would probably not have one.

Cut out some ovals. Take a web/wreath cutter and cut into both sides. Pick it up from the top and let it stretch just a bit as you transfer it to the cookie sheet so that it will be somewhat deformed taller and thinner. If you don't have an oval and a wreath cutter, you could maybe use the piece-of-candy cutter or a neck tie cutter.

Ice the cookies and immediately cover in SPECIAL SUGAR. (I found some lemon and lime crystals in my pantry and mixed it with some granulated sugar. I mixed about 1 Tbsp crystal with 1/4 c of sugar.  It tastes just like the sugar at the bottom of the bag of Sour Patch Kids.) Since these cookies will be covered in sugar, don't spend too much time making the icing pretty. Go ahead and spread it with a fork if you want.


Shake off the excess sugar and EAT THEM ALL RIGHT AWAY. Or you know, let the icing dry and EAT THEM ALL LATER. Or you could share them. (What? Who does that?)

WAIT!! The party doesn't end here. It's like New Year's Eve where you and your friends skip around to a whole bunch of places hoping that the next one will be cooler than the one you are at. So, go ahead and start skipping around... (But promise you'll come back here later today. I have more fun planned!)


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