But then when my 4 year old ate them as a special treat after finishing his very healthy macaroni and cheese... he would have cried because they tasted slightly of charcoal and he would have run to his room and cried some more and then when I tried to read him a book to make him feel better, he would have sobbed to me,
"Why don't you love me?"
and I would have spent hours trying to console him, rubbing his back endlessly while speaking comforting words just above a whisper and then my arm would have gone numb from his head pressed against it and I would have tried to find a way to extricate it while still reaffirming my love to him and it wouldn't have worked and we'd have to start the process all over again.
So...I had to go with thick branches. I hope you understand.